what God gave me today?

wHat God GavE mE tOday ?

Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Earliest Ever

Ever year, during Merdeka's Eve, I will never reach home before 6am of Merdeka Day !

Today, technically, I reached home at 1.30am..Hurm.. an achievement? I guess? Dunno.

Thanks a bunch to ALL, who gave me wonderful and memorable nite, tho miserably scrumming ourselves at the 37th floor of Menara PNB (Darby Park), I guess we had fun :)

I had fun. Clean fun.

That view from the 37th floor of the building, simply awesome.
Stood in awe. Watched in awe. Admired in awe.

Multitudes of people were crowding around the streets of KL. I tell you, crazy !
While the five of us, cozyly on that 37th floor. How I wish he was there too.

Fireworks. For the first time, I saw from such near distance.
The last time seeing them from a similar, not so nice view, was when I was at wenghong's house. Out of no where 1 Utama shot fireworks ?! But they were almost equally awesome.

Too bad I didn't have my camera. It died.
So I stood from afar, not that far, to watch while the four of them gave a shot at the magnificence of those million worth shooting gunpowder colourful lights ! (my own description)

Tonight told me something.

Somehow, I appreciate people around me a lot. But I wonder if they do the same.
It didn't matter. As long as I treat people right, someone along the way will definitely treat you right. It doesn't matter how long you've known this person or how well you know this person. Just as long as you treat them like you've known them for a very long time, the returns will come.

God blessed me, and I am glad.

***

Why you call me at 3.15 in the morning?
And telling me that I'm sensitive and like to imagine stuff?
I was happy to see your name appear on my phone, but why you have to say all that?
But after talking to you, I almost wanted to cry.. the least I know, you're home safe and sound..

When will people ever appreciate me for who I really am...

:(

***

A short continuation :

Today I realised that BurgerKing IceCreams taste as nice as IKEA's ! IKEA's cone nicer though.

And how that icecream stand can be of a different use? Talk about innovation ;p

How my stomach can fit two burgers in a span of two hours

From Hotel Nikko we also found out that parking, after a certain is only RM2 ! Better than parking at the roadside and get charged for RM10 by those unauthorized parking attendant ! Giler...

In a line

From my lousy phone,stuck it against the window, this is what I got...

Ouh so crazy. Ouh so joyful. Ouh so worn out.

Hm.. Better than nothing lar ho..

siaosiao @ 3:57 AM (4) bla it

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Ducky

I want to go back to Shanghai. . .

siaosiao @ 2:56 AM (0) bla it

Eating Out

The nearest 'TongSui' shop to my house, KTZ.
First time eating at a similar branch in SS2, in year 2000 I think.
Had my first Honey Dew Sago Loh.

I remember, celebrating Jongchern's and Jianyi's birthday right after something that we had at Life Chapel.
So random that night. Even weijin was there. Somewhere in July that year. One of the WorldCup years.

Since then, that shop, my favourite 'TongSui' shop !
I still think that the SS2 one still rock the most !
Mmmm.. Priceless tastes !

And so we went there again that day. With MayLee and Kelvin.
Ordered so much ! Missed those eating days.

So we had : Chee Cheong Fun, Fried Yam, Lobak Kou, Soew Kao, Mango Loh, Siew Mai and my all time favourite, WoPing (they called it 'Wall Band', *faints*..)

MayLee had some honeylime thing to drink and Kelvin had a sweet bowl of 'Mak Chuk' (I think that's what you call it..)

So full, so stuffed.
At the same time, so glad.

Before stepping into the car

siaosiao @ 1:11 AM (0) bla it

Monday, August 28, 2006

Broken Bridges

The feeling I had was vaguely peculiar...
Somehow felt like the musical was talking to me.
Relating to most parts of the scenes, which freaked me out a lil.

I could almost picture myself in most of the characters.
Strangely weird.
And I cried.

Could see him. Somewhere in the midst of the casts.

Other than just going there to watch the musical, wanted to just go support people like Douglas, whom I used to work with quite some church musicals and drama productions and Colin, being my RBS mission team supervisor.

Before entering the theatre, saw Saras, A.Beeling and their friend. Ouh, saw AdrianLim there also.

Walked to the entrance with MeiFern and Xin. Saw cute guy. A lil short tho. But he entertained me. But so budak kecik la that guy.
Which later was selling the musical's booklet. And, haiya, he was trying to fit into my conversation with xin. Youknow, trying to catch attention, heh. Weird. So perasan me.

All in all, it was superb, even tho I preferred the music compared to the acting. Hurm..
Watch it for those who of you who haven't ! Students especially. I had to pay RM80 leh..while xin only paid RM40.. Gone were the days. My student days. Expired.

***

Thought you left me.
Didn't expect you to appear so late.
But I'm glad.
Am still missing alot.

***

This splitting headache.
Not forgetting the gastric.

siaosiao @ 1:19 AM (0) bla it

The PRS

siaosiao @ 12:17 AM (0) bla it

Saturday, August 26, 2006

God gave me him?

But I don't know if he is still the him I used to know...

siaosiao @ 2:15 AM (0) bla it

SinkingDeep

You ask me why? I will never be able to answer why...

Spent a day at KLCC.
In the morning with MayLee and Isaac.
In the afternoon with happy-three-friends.

I'd rather be spending time with strangers rather than boggling my mind with disturbing thoughts.
Wonder why I always land in unsettled thoughts.

Had dinner at the Wong's. Helped cooked when I arrived.
Didn't eat much. Like there is a stopper. While the wernjun-used-to-be will never be able to resist pasta.

Forced the tomato soup in since chunhao was so happy with it. Ate some Tempura, since cheng-yi fried it. Ate some pasta sauce without the pasta since xin churned the recipe.

Downed two plastic cups of redwine with applealoevera and ice.

Thought I could sleep. But didn't work.

*sighs*

***

Why dear...why... :(

siaosiao @ 12:24 AM (0) bla it

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Missing

Listening to acoustics of Tanya Chua.
Making me want to cry thinking of him.

This feeling in within, so messed up...stirring with confusion.
I really don't want to go on anymore...

Life's so full of uncertainties...
Still hurt, still angry, still frustrated and feeling neglected most of the time...

I really miss him so much. But I can't tell him.
I could only cry myself to sleep...

How I wish I could go back there...how I wish...
Not because of him, but because my passion lies there...

Why do I have go through all these? Why all these complexity? Why all these hurts?

Today he tried to make me laugh. But it didn't work.

I really wish sometimes we were still stuck somewhere in February. When I saw him at that event I only went because I wanted to cheer him a lil.
I can still remember the smile painted on his face the moment he noticed my presence.
Told him I wasn't going to go. But decided to give him a surprise.
I would never go if it wasn't for him.
Those who know me, they will know I would rather sit next to the dustbin than to step into those places.
But I went anyway.

Wanted to give him a surprise I said, but it was half spoiled by him.
Cos he called in the middle of the day to ask if I wanted to sit on the LRT with him to KLCC, where he needed to stop, while I made my way home..

I was actually rushing home to get ready for the night. Instead I had to wait for him at University.

Waited for long. Wondering how he would look like that day.
One thing. I was always badly dressed whenever I see him. He always looked good. Always.

He finally stepped out of the trains. Saw his sweet smile. His eyes almost disappearing. Waited for another train to make our way to KLCC.

Didn't say much on the train except him asking me,'You really not coming later?' Which he already got the answer the night before when he called from the office to ask if I was going to be there the next night. It was partly his event cos he was the coordinator.
'Nah, I'm tired, I want to go back and sleep...'
In my heart, 'You'll see tonight.'

I decided to get off at KLCC too, to hitch a ride from a friend.
Reached home, bathe, and zoomed out immediately.

Saw my friends at KLCC and walked to our destination.

I remember seeing him with his colleagues. Laughing. He noticed when I passed by. Like he almost couldn't believe it was me. Came over and said a few shy words.

I was asked at the entrance how old I was by one of the big shots. I said that I was 22? Before I could get a sight of my friends, one of the photoguys tapped me and said hi ! Weird that guy actually remembered me after almost a year !

The whole night was just weird. Out of the 6 of us, I accidentally got chopped with a VIP chop. Gave me access to where the staffs were instead of crowding with the public downstairs.

Which meant I could spent the whole night with him but, at a distant.
I still remember him asking me to eat, which I refused cos I wanted to wait for my friends. He asked a few times, almost scolded me for not eating.

The whole night was just plain listening to jumping hiphops. Catching up with old friends. How I missed them. They actualy screamed with joy when he brought me over to them. While I was at that, he passed almost every interval of 15 minutes. Asking,'Have you eaten?''You want to drink something?'
He even offered to walk me outside of that smoky place to buy food since food ran out.

How to drink...all they had were beer and wine. And with an empty stomach and gastric confusion? No way.

The night ended with a lil photo snapping. Which he agreed to my friend's crap to have a picture taken with me. Almost immediately his arms landed on my shoulder without warnnig. I was stunned. The alcohol probably caused him that. The shy being he is, would never have agreed to all those nonsense if he was still sober.
That moment : Priceless.

I wanted to give him a hug before leaving. But he left too early. I didn't even get to say goodbye...

I still remember text-ing him that night. He said he had fun. So did I. So did I.

How I wish that night would come again. Really missed all he was. So much.

siaosiao @ 1:30 AM (2) bla it

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Pure Random

Two days she didn't touch her phone to text him.
For her, its quite an achievement.

So she was tossing and turning on the bed on a Saturday morning - 0230 up til 0600.
Few more hours time, parents and sister will wake up to get ready to church.

Just felt so disturbed... Brains kept racing to don't know where. Just Couldn't sleep.
She tried to switch on the computer to look at it a little longer, trying to make her eyes tired, but just they just won't close. They just won't.

Til 0600, she finally slept. But awaken by the alarm clock which went off by itself.
Frustrated and irritated. Turned it off, tried to fall back asleep.
Dozed off finally at 1030.

But awaken again by mom at 1130. Felt like locking the room doot at times.

So she tossed and turned til bout 12 noon. Finally gave up, called up a friend to ask her for lunch. Not exactly hungry but just felt like talking some stress away...

Out for lunch. Went back to friend's house to play with the dog and cats. Favourite furry animals. Watched repeats of Project Runway.
Forced to go for captainball. But didn't play much.

Haven't eaten for almost a week. So legs felt weak. She never felt that way...
Guess from the lack of sleep and food, that was the result.

Came back at about 1830. Took bath. Then laid on the bed trying to dry hair.
Slowly, surprisingly dozing off... Quickly grabbed a pillow and dozed of totally...
Squishing the green frog...

Woke up at bout 2120. Cos of the awkward position , squishing green frog not to forget the wet hair.
Still dazed , tried to get back to sleep..
Suddenly heard something almost familiar. Wondering why was the radio on with a favourite song - JohnMayer, No Such Thing.
But the radio wasn't switched on. It was the phone. His ringer ID.

Picked up the phone, read the message,'Hey...Buat apa??'.
Was almost happy, but still recovering from hurts and anger. Hessitated to reply.

Youknow, when you've just awaken from deep slumber, your brains can't really coordinate. But told him anyway that she just woke up.

As always he replied with guilt if it was his message woke her up. She convinced him she really just got up.

And he called ! He actually called !
It was almost magic. Cos he almost never calls.
She picked it up sounded as dead as ever. Heard a familiar deep voice.. always loved his deep voice..
Weirdly, he sounded so cheerful and in a mood to talk so much... But he was talking an almost dead gurl.. no energy at all.. But he didn't mind.
Line got cut off suddenly. She tried calling back but couldn't get through. Few minutes later it got through and he actually was trying to call back. He offered anyway to call back. Which she only answered bluntly, "Up to you".
And he did call back. Talked for a while and the line got cut off. She gave up. So she called back anyway with the limited amount of credit left in her phone.

Found out in the end that he was nearby her house.
He asked if she had eaten, which she hadn't. He asked her to eat, but she refused..no appetite and just not in the mood...

After juggling for a while, he finally offered to bring her out for dinner. He said he had already eaten but he would accompany her.

He didn't want to bring her in his car, cos he said it was too ugly and no air condition.. He said she'd surely laugh..

So she decided, park at her house, they'd walk...
Paced up and down the road, trying to decide if he should drive.. She stopped in the middle of the road. Wating for him to decide..
But in the end, he offered to drive...overcoming himself..

Reached the mamak.. he asked her to order drink and food for herself, cos he wanted to go toilet..
When he came back, the mamak asked him what he wanted. He ordered, and asked the mamak whether she ordered food? the mamak answered what her order was and gave a puzzled face..

He still didn't believe that she ordered.. cos she usually refuses to eat when he's around.. He asked again.. 'You ordered already?' Which she nodded...

The whole time he was so nice. So weird.. when her food came he actually adjusted her drink so she could have space to move her hands to eat.. No fork and spoon, he went take for her.. When she asked for curry, he adjusted her drink and pushed the curry nearer to her..
She felt like some little kid... He watched her eat the whole time... almost in silence... and weirdly smiling...to himself..

As always.. before she could realise anything, he paid.. left for home..
He kept asking if she was full, whether she wanted to buy some more stuff..
Passing by 7-11 , which he said, 'Dunno, you want to stop by 7-11 or something?'
Just to satisfy his curiousity, she just tembak say, 'Yah I want to buy drink...'
He asked,' What you want? I get it for you.'
'Nevermind I'll get it myself..' But he insisted..'Tell me la what you want.. I buy for you ..'
Was just too shy to say anything.. just told him that may not be able to find it..

So in the end she walked down to get it herself...

She wanted to go to my favourite swing.. but she dind't dare ask...
Reached home, she popped him a message..saying she wanted to go for a swing..
The reply was weird.. He said, 'Gatal.. now baru nak cakap.. wanted to see also your fav swing..next time k?'

She didn't even ask , was worried tho, cos his car was in quite bad condition.. cannot start properly.. cannot change gear properly.. That's why he was so shy to fetch her in it.. So she told him to drive carefully..but when he reached home, he texted her to say he was home and asked her to sleep...'Home ady. You tdo yah?'

She could only feel one thing... touched...

Don't know.. she managed to get him out of 'sight' for two days, which was an achievement.. but just when she felt a slight relief, he appeared again.. by himself..

Usually if she doesn't talk to him the whole day, she'd at least say goodnite.. but this time, she forced herself not to text him at all...

Before she got down the car, he said,'Goodnite...'in a very soft voice..

Today, he looked so good.. happy for first.. handsome for second. Dunno why he kept staring at me smiling..first time she saw him with sleeveless.. heh, just a gurl's admiration, so muscular.. she always thought he was very skinny and lembik wan..
First time he saw her with short pants also..

The whole night out, so weird . . . she couldn't understand . . .
***
Sorry.. didn't eat for so long..
But I'm ouhkay.. slowly eating..
I promise I will take care.. not because he texted me today.. but I told myself, I will be stronger and will show him, who my God really is... to be a living testimony that survived the hurts and anger caused by many... I will..

siaosiao @ 1:53 AM (0) bla it

Monday, August 21, 2006

Love'em

In 2004, we went to Shanghai for a uni trip.
Spent 12 days there.
Memories always cherished.
Smiles, priceless.

Best buddies from a differnt faculty !
*notice my robe was pick and their's blue

siaosiao @ 4:28 AM (0) bla it

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Sung - Mou - Puppy & boy who thought he was 18

Nyah, too long to tag to answer the both of your questions ;p

Hah, the thought just came when we were at Anna's farewell, 'Kingsley look like sung-mou-kou' Hahaha ;p

Ouh, the direct translation, loose-fur-dog.. Its not an insult ! But a complement. Bayangkan, you look like those very cute and BIG sheep dog in shows like Cats&Dogs or if you remember LittleMermaid's boyfriend,Eric's sheepdog, teehee ;)

But dog sounded very crude.. so I used puppy lo.. You can go ask Jeff to define it, hahaha ! I remember that night I asked, how many in your family, then, he said 7. Suddenly he asked, "erm, you want to count the dog?"

Which I am a fan of any animals that are furry, dogs, cats, hamsters etc. Then I asked what dog??? He said, erm, I think its a 'sung-mou-kou' hahaha !

Its because of your blur face lar... and the long hair covering the eyes, really look like those blurcase sheepdog that are actually not blurcase :P *winks*

And, boy who thought you were 18 (xian), I'm so free ler.. everyday.. looking for nonsense to do.. feel like going to just simply everywhere to take pictures of anything.. and I mean anything... from weird stuff , random stuff , cincai anything lar basically.. Need to get mind off some stuff.. so, you're welcome to call me, cos my phone barred liao.. over usage of my wonderful skills of pressing of the numbers too often... you don't want to imagine my bill...

Ouh, but using backupline, which I always do la.. but call the 013 still, I'd reply with another number :P

***

Today, I wore the square-hat. The one you wear after you've wasted tonnes of braincells flipping through hopeless textbooks and concluding a 10,000 word project full of nonsense.

Yes. I graduated today. At, Wisma MCA, where my convocation was held. I shall let the pictures paint memories...