what God gave me today?

wHat God GavE mE tOday ?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Wet Hair

Too bad Malaysia doesn't have four seasons.
Otherwise, I guess I'd be enjoying it so much.

I think I could sit here forever playing the same song over and over again.
Right now, while I'm writing this, am listening to Summer Wind.

Ouh yah, that was the song that Sharizan poked fun at me.
Regardless.

I still like the song, a lot.

***

Waiting for my hair to dry, suddenly two thoughts came into my mind.

First, MeiFern.
Suddenly she texted me this morning. Couldn't reply her though. My phone died.
So I called her instead.
Well of course I missed listening to her funny laugh and her funny commonsense. Never Fails to make me laugh. I guess it was a good morning call. Cheered me up a lil. Also kept me thinking the whole day.
But I was glad that she texted. Touched, the fact that I disappeared for so long, she began to wonder what happened to me. In her words,'I haven't seen you in ages!'
Quite true for that fact.

Then I replied Edith's e-mail.
In a lot of ways, she's quite a random friend.
Met her last year at one of my assignments and kept bumping into her eversince for several other assignments.
I guess God made everyone to be one of a kind.
She could be quiet at times and sometimes she could talk quite a lot.
She is a nice person though.

I remember her buying me a drink earlier this year when I went to interview her for my Final Year Project. She was so willing to help me.
I was having a fever that day.
I rememeber seeing her after I met up with him.
She insisted that I drank 100 Plus. To reduce fever.
Then she sent me to TV3 to interview another guy.
From Bangsar to TV3 !
Yeah, I owe loads.

I spoke to her today thru Gmail chat.
First question she asked was, did I apply to theSun.
My heart sank.
I just hate it when people ask me if I'm there of if I applied to go there.
As much as I want to go there, I have no idea how to get into there.
I asked her,"What makes you think that they'd want to take me in..."
Thinking to myself.
*sighs*
She said, "My dear, you will never know if you don't try.."

Thing is with me, I'm too chicken to accept a 'NO'.
I'm just too scared. Of I don't know what.
I remember Tamarai asking, infact pestering me to write to the editors.
So did Jamie and Sashi.
I remember seeing loads more of other people, asking me to write back,
In Jamie and Sashi's words,"Come and visit us lah." "Migrate migrate". That was bumping into them at InDesign 2006, Kuala Lumpur.

Shy. Scared. Intimidated. Lost and Confused. Those are the few words that would describe me now.

Finding out that Winnie is in The Edge, just doesn't makes things better. My childhood friend is in The Edge. She worked in USA for quite a while. *sighs*
Where am I today?
Feel like such a failure.

I want something so much. Not even close to anything.

:(

As much as I try to forget, things just keep coming and coming, reminding me...I don't know for the better or for worse.

I really just want to get a place anywhere...too bad I can't write chinese...

*sighs*

:(

siaosiao @ 11:26 PM

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