what God gave me today?

wHat God GavE mE tOday ?

Sunday, October 08, 2006

...

After almost begging for a week, I finally got a reply...

Why did I ever end up like this...

:(

Why did I let someone influence me so much
Why did I let go of my strong self
Why did I let self-pity attack me again
Why did I give in
Why did I loved
Why did I care
Why did I regard him as something so close to me

Passion for people
For a loved one
For one who's so dear to me

To forget what they had
Regardless of what it was
What do you think she is?
Only someone who's inhuman would be able to do so...

Mencintaimu
Seumur hidupku
Selamanya
Setia menanti
Walau di hati saja
Seluruh hidupku
Selamanya
Kau tetap milikku

Hanya satu yang tak mungkin kembali
Hanya satu yang tak pernah terjadi
Sgalanya
Teramat berarti di hatiku
Selamanya

Mencintaimu
Seumur hidupku
Selamanya
Kau tetap milikku

-Kris Dayanti

*Random thoughts of a miserable being who was once lifted up but dropped so low she doesn't even know how to pick herself up she can't drink nor could she pick up any stimulant to help herself be happy again only he can make her happy only he can never found something or someone so precious so different so unique yet so hard to understand why did God send him into her life she would never be able to tell she sometimes rather not know him then to have to go through a suffering stage once again so afraid to have to go through it again but she's slowly going back into it trying so hard to avoid herself to fall back into her misery once again trying so hard to avoid him from leaving her but he's gone so far away almost disappearing never will she be able to find anyone as peculiar as special as unusual as him there will only be one of him cos God made human beings that way God gave His all into creating every single one differently carefully molded and crafted with the finest details providing no repetitions or similarity among every single one on earth that's why he's one in a million rare and difficult to find almost entinct while when that someone who wasn't she already got him but didn't appreciate him and when he's been found by someone else that someone else can't even get near to him long enough to help him pick himself up instead fall into anotehr pit so deep that she doesn't even know how to get out but for a friend for him she's willing to wait willing to take time to understand what would one still want to ask from someone like that he doesn't want her to talk about dying he doesn't want her to be over sensitive or over emotional but he was once like that to her but he doesn't realise it long was gone when she gave so much to someone not even herself he has already found a place in her heart he once said that if he fell for her he wouldn't ever let go but she can never understand why he has drifted away to such a far distance she could only miss and cry alone at night simply because she misses too much she can't tell him that she misses him cos he didn't let her tell him anymore she wishes to tell him she still cares and loves him so much but she could only tell that to herself cos he didn't let her tell him anymore but no matter where she walks she's bound to memories of him even random topics like blood donation she is suddenly reminded once again she wants to tell how beautiful the sky is she wants to tell him once again how round and bright the moon is she wants to tell him once again that threr is a rainbow but she can't anymore she wants to bring him along for lanttern walking she wants him to be with her even on the phone when she's stuck with no transport home she wants to sit in his car again she wants to just listen to him tell her stories she wants to imagine him hugging her to sleep even though he has never she wants someone to be around even on the phone when she's sick all she could only miss she wants to smile again she wants to see him smile again she really wants to simply because she loves him so dearly no matter what becomes of him*

siaosiao @ 4:04 AM

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